Do you remember School House Rock?  Do you remember the one about eleven?  “Good, good, good…  good eleven…eleven almost makes multiplication fun…”  Eleven is a good number.  And it’s been a powerful message this year.

There have been a lot of 11’s and 1’s and repeating 1’s floating around this year.  Yes, on the calendar, creating powerful energy for us all, but they are showing up in other places, too.   I bet you have been seeing these numbers on the clock and at the gas pump and other places as well.  Am I right?  Yeah, I’m so psychic…

If you are a numerologist, you notice numbers.  They all have significance and they are just another way of staying in touch with the guidance that is all around us.  It’s great when my daughters and I can look at the clock, see the time and nod and go, “uh-huh.”  We know what it means.

And when the clock says 11:11 or 1:11 you know that there is magic around you.  The angelic realm is letting you know they are listening, they are aware, they are helping.  The angels are doing what they can to help line things up for you.  Keep believing and keep seeing what it is you want to manifest.  Believe and see what you most desire.  The 11’s are a God-Wink that they know, they have your wish list and they are working on it.

2011 gave us a powerful potential to work with.  But it’s all energy, and we must work with it to make the most of it.  Waiting for change to happen outside of you won’t get you anywhere.  You must be ready to move yourself, your ideas and your beliefs through the doorway.

Think of the energy of eleven, and all repeating ones as a beginning, like a doorway. You must see what you desire on the other side of that doorway.  We move through the spiritual gateway of possibility into the physical world of reality through the actions we are willing to take, to make those dreams a reality.

Wrap up the year by contemplating what is just beyond the doorway of 2011.  Imagine yourself in the eleven gateway, standing between two pillars.  The pillars on either side of you are strong and tall, and you are looking through to a new world just past this gateway.

Stand at the threshold of the rest of your life.  As we make plans and prepare for what is next, in 2012, we must see what we want to believe in.  We must know with all our heart, all our soul that what we desire most shall come to pass.

See yourself moving into a place of greater peace, joy and happiness.  Good, good, good eleven.

At the beginning of 2011 Spirit led me to a place of retreat,  for me and my family.  I had been on the road for a long time and I was tired.  I had a list of places I wanted to look at as we returned to Florida.  I was not sure where I wanted to be, so I let go and trusted Spirit would lead me to the right place.

Spirit told me I would only need to look at one place.  I had a list of homes that looked good, in towns and cities all over Florida.  This was the first town we came to, because of a different house.  We didn’t look at the house on my list because we drove past this one and I was pulled in.

We pulled in the driveway and stopped in front of the giant Live Oak.  It said, “Welcome Home.”  And that was it for me.  I knew.

This tree is so awesome, I did not notice there was a circular driveway wrapping all the way around it.  I pulled up to the barrier of ferns and plants that grow in a circle around the tree.   I sat in the car staring at the very large and beautiful old oak with mystical Spanish moss dripping from every branch.  I didn’t need to see the house.  I knew I was where I needed to be.

But to top it off, the landlord told me the house was 111 years old this year.  The house was built by a man named DeWolf back in 1900.

He tells me many say DeWolf is still here, that the house is haunted.  Now I’m really sold.

And then he tells me the tree is the 11^th largest Live Oak, on record, in the world.

I smiled and signed the lease.   Eleven is good to me.

I have stood at the gateway in 2011.  I have sat with my tree, enjoyed his company and his wisdom.

He let me know to consider it a vacation, long after I settled in and made myself at home.  Spirit is pointing out the circular driveway to me.  I am to follow it all the way around and go back out again.

But I have a little time to stand on the threshold, contemplating what is before me.  I have a little more time to be with the tree.

As a child I resonated with the quote, “A ship in harbor is safe, but that is not what ships are built for.”   I took some magic markers and created a sign with that quote on it, and I still carry that quote with me.

It is good to stand in the gateway.  It is nice to come back to harbor.  It is wonderful to make yourself at home.   And it is always wise to take a break and contemplate where you have been, and where you really want your life to go.

But don’t ever get too comfortable that you stop growing.  Look across the gateway and contemplate what adventures are possible in your own life.  What new things would you like to try?  What relationships would you like to form?  Are there classes you want to take, or a new career you want to begin?

The power of eleven is ready to multiply blessings in your life.

Take a look at the gateway in your life.  In what direction do you need to grow?  What can you see before you?

Just see it, and believe it and then be ready to move in that direction.

We cannot remain at the threshold forever, and expect to grow.  Growth is a natural and normal thing for the living.  (I learned that from the tree.  He wants to be cited somewhere in all this….)

You must not just stand between the pillars.  Enjoy the view you and Spirit are creating, but do not hesitate too long.  The energy is strong and it is with us to help us.  Good eleven wants you to be ready to take steps to move across the threshold.

Whatever it is you really want to move towards, get ready to pull up anchor and come with me.  You probably don’t need to pack all your belongings.  You probably don’t have to rent a truck.  I bet you don’t even have to do much more than get up a little earlier in the morning, in order to leave your own safe harbor.

Just decide what it is you really want to do, while you’re still alive, and let’s go.  The power of eleven will be behind you, so enter 2012 knowing you can move in the direction of that which is calling you.

Good Eleven says anything is possible.  It will always mirror back for us what we believe.

As they sing on School House Rock, “Eleven will always be a friend of mine.”

Abundant Blessings,

Cat

The frogs are back.  Baby frogs are showing up in my life again.  They make me so happy…

I was so angry, holding a grudge with snake, and I fueled my anger by blaming him for all the frogs disappearing.

But now the frogs are back.

Over several months the frogs were disappearing.  And then when I didn’t see any for quite a while, it concerned me.

So I began blaming.

Blame is a wonderful thing.  In my anger I looked around for more to fuel my anger.  In all that seemed out of balance, I blamed snake.   Isn’t it handy to have somewhere to place all our unhappiness and disgruntled feelings?

But now frog is back.  The baby frogs perch on the top of my screen doors, they cuddle up close to the porch light at night.  I leave the light on for them.  I open and close the screen doors carefully.

We went to Target and the voice that guides me told me to get some potato chips.  (Yeah, right, Cat.  Your guides would tell you to buy potato chips?) But wait, before you judge me, I went to the potato chip aisle, always anxious to please my guides and follow their direction…and beneath my favorite kind was a baby frog.

Now you see why I was told to get potato chips.  So into my canvas bag I carefully placed the little fellow.  (This is another reason to be sure to take your cloth bags to the store with you, you never know when you may need to rescue a frog, or bird, or snake…)  My daughters helped me relocate frog back to a more natural habitat across from the parking lot.

Back at home, I came inside the porch door and something fell on my head.  After a small shriek (I have come a long way, just a squeak now where I used to scream) I pulled the creature out of my hair.

It was another frog.  I placed the adorable little green guy back outside the porch.

As I put my hand down to the ground to let it go, I heard an excited voice, either in frog’s mind, or my own, or both shouting, “Snake!”

Then I realized I was handing snake his dinner and I tried to find frog again, but alas, I did not.  I suddenly considered that the reason these baby frogs keep migrating to my porch maybe to get away from our friend snake.

In my mind I invited the frogs to come back inside the porch if they need.  Then as I turned back towards the porch steps frog jumped up the steps ahead of me. Of his own accord, he was choosing to take refuge on my screen porch.

I smiled and said, “Of course you can come inside with me tonight.”

So this morning the first thing I looked for was frog.  As I write this I can see two curled up at the top of one door and one on the top of the other, on the inside of the screen porch.

They can stay inside with me as long as they like, and I will open and close the door very carefully…

And I will quit blaming snake for doing what snakes do naturally.

He’s just being himself.  Can we blame anyone for being who they are?

Why get angry with someone who will continue to do the same things over and over again.  Our pain comes when we expect someone to be something they cannot be.  Instead we must accept each person where they are, knowing we are all doing the best that we can, all of us just trying to be who we are.

In doing my best at being myself, I find I am happiest when I do the simplest of things, such as feeding the birds and watching out for the little guys on my porch door.  It brings me joy to care about them.  It makes me smile simply watching the birds and butterflies and frogs.

We need to remember not to blame others for our unhappiness.   We must release our anger or else we will be feeding it, day after day.  Don’t expect others to change.  Instead change your self, and change your focus.

We must remember to switch our focus to joy.

In order to find joy, we must look for it.  The little joys, the sweet surprises in life can be found at Target, but not in the purchases we make.  It’s in the surprises we find.

At this time of year many people are trying very hard to find joy.  Many people rush around trying to create joy for others.  But Joy is found in unexpected places.

And it is the simplest things that bring a smile to our face and lightness in our hearts.

Remember to enjoy the simple things at this time of year.  Take time to enjoy what you love.

Turn away from your grievances.    Stop feeding the anger and frustration.

Instead feed the abundance of loving, joyful moments by dwelling on them.  Make the simple moments last longer.  Linger in the moments that feel good.

And most importantly where ever you go and in all that you do, be you.  Be true to your own callings.  Even if they lead you to the chip aisle, follow your heart.  You never know what you will find.

In the strangest callings, if we are willing to follow our hearts, we will find joy.  A true calling doesn’t always make sense at first, and something may just fall on your head or pop out unexpectedly.  It may frighten you at first, but pay attention and you might even have a good laugh when joy shows up.

And you may find a pleasant surprise as others change when you least expect it.  When snake comes and curls up next to you, be at peace with him.

As you learn to follow your own heart, learn to just be you, you will find your greatest joy.

Wishing you Love, Light and Joy.

Cat

 
]]> http://catrunningelk.wordpress.com/2011/12/27/joy-to-the-frogs/feed/ 0 Cat RunningElk http://catrunningelk.wordpress.com/2011/12/03/the-day-after/ http://catrunningelk.wordpress.com/2011/12/03/the-day-after/#comments Sat, 03 Dec 2011 01:22:42 +0000 Cat RunningElk http://catrunningelk.wordpress.com/?p=463 ]]>

I went to my computer before going out to the tree today.  I sat down and thought it would be okay to check my email before going outside to say my prayers.

I told myself it wasn’t at all because of what happened with snake the other day.  I told myself I wasn’t afraid, just anxious to check my emails.

My Baby’s spirit comes and stands next to my chair.  When my dog was alive I had to take her outside as soon as I got up.  I was forced to do my spiritual work first, because Baby reminded me with her gentle nuzzling, quietly asking me with her beautiful eyes to please take her out.

And once outside my eyes go to the sky, then my hands go to the ground, I give thanks, I honor and appreciate all that I see.  Very quickly I am immersed in my spiritual practice and it feels good.

So today I see her spirit.  She nudges my arm with her head, as I am pushing the on button of the computer.  I smile and thank her for helping me stay true to my path.

We go outside and I look at my tree friend from a distance.  I wonder if snake is inside, outside, or just waiting under all that foliage.  I take notice of my true feelings and pause.  I do not want to lose contact with Tree Spirit.  He is very important to me.  He grounds me, he offers sage advice and most of all – his presence is comforting.

His roots reach beneath our home and his canopy reaches across the roof.  I feel safe because he is here.  He is a very important part of my daily life, and I want to touch him every day, in some way, just to know we are connected.  I like to thank him for all that he gives to us.  Even if he is silent to most people’s ears, I can hear him and I feel his love.

But first, I want to know it is safe, because now I see snake every day in my mind. I feel his presence and I know he is here with us.

In spirit form I am no longer intimidated by Snake, but in the physical form I am still very nervous.   I am nervous because of the power he holds inside.  But now I know I have the same power in me, this spirit is also with me.  As long as I listen first, and respect his space, there is no thing to fear.

So I wait for permission to proceed.

Tree tells me to walk around him first.  He says to circle around.

Since coming here and connecting with this ancient wise one I learned that whenever I was in a bad mood, if I walked around the tree the bad energy would disappear.  Sometimes he would tell me how many times to circle.  And then I used it with my children, if they were arguing or complaining, I would tell them to go run around the tree until they felt better.

It always worked.

Today I walk around the large circumference, and all the plants that circle and protect him, once.

Coming full circle I stand facing him, not so far back this time and he says to go get my offering.

I get what I have to give, holding it close to my heart.  I walk on the path slowly and more consciously than ever before.

I place my gifts down upon the ground, then slowly I reach out and touch his trunk mindfully.

It is safe today.

As I stand at the tree, where snake and I met, I am in awe of all that has happened, in just one day and in my whole life.  The path remains clear, there is nothing in the way.  The fear is gone.

It is important to remember to come from a place of peace.  To move through your day mindfully, listening always first, and then proceeding with confidence.  As long as we remember to pay attention, there is no thing to fear, for we are one with everything.

Standing fully present I know I am one with the tree, with Mother Earth and even finally I am one with snake.  Equally powerful, equally wise, equally loving.  Because we are all one and the same.

It’s good to be standing here…again.

Today I hope you will touch that which brings you full circle, to remember your wholeness.

In peace,

Cat

Wisdom is your perspective on life, your sense of balance, your understanding of how the various parts and principles apply and relate to each other.  It embraces judgment, discernment, comprehension.  It is a gestalt or oneness, and integrated wholeness. – Stephen R. Covey

Like the wise, animal loving nature woman that I am, I screamed.  A little scream, but yes, I screamed.  Snake stopped just a foot away from me and looked up at me.

I stood frozen studying the colors.  I tried to remember the rhyme, ‘gold touches red, you’re gonna be dead…’ No wait, that’s not how it goes, ‘red touches black…’ My mind cannot remember the rhyme.  My mind is focusing on the bands of bright, beautiful colors; red, black and yellow, on this snake.  I know if I can read the colors right I will know if it is one of the deadly ones in my yard. But the colors blur together as my eyes grow weepy.

It stays still, close to my bare feet.  We both pause and consider our options.

I remember my pain and my eyes grow teary.   Snake bit my dog, Baby, a month ago.  Now my Baby is gone.  I want to scream at this snake, I want to release my anger.  My pain rises as I stare at this being.  I want to blame him for what hurts inside me.

Snake stays still.  It is not hiding in shame, nor is it running from me.  It is not even flinching.  It is here and it is telling me something.

I don’t want to hear.  I don’t want to listen.

Since the passing of Baby, snakes have been showing up everywhere.  I have been avoiding a close encounter for weeks.    I found a dead rattlesnake right outside my gate.  I have seen them sinking into the ground when I work in the yard.  Spirit usually warns me when one is near, and I call to the snake from a distance asking its permission to pass through.  Then they come out of hiding and disappear again into the ground so I can proceed.

I like it best when I don’t see them at all.

But today was different.  Today something told me to come up to the tree and to place an offering on the ground.  Snake called me to come.  I put down the offering and then it came.

It is sitting on the path and I can’t move.  I am surrounded by tall, thick, prickly plants and the only clear path is blocked by snake, very close to my feet.  My tree friend stands strong and silent behind me, unable to offer me any protection.  I wish I was smaller and could crawl inside one of the cracks in my tree.

Snake inches closer to me, undaunted by the strong vibration I am sending it to go away.

I look at the options.  I know I am to listen.  I know I am supposed to confront my fears.  Do I try to push snake back or should I dive through the thorny bushes?  Fear allows us only two ideas – attack or retreat?

Adrenaline rushing through me I hike up my nightgown and jump over the bushes in two very long and quick leaps.  My fear said retreat.

I want to run inside the house but I hear Spirit call to me.  I am to stay with snake and face the truth.  I must face my fear.

Now that I am in the clear and have room to run, I look back for snake.  No longer feeling cornered I realize I want to see him.  I come a little closer, a little closer, taking baby steps towards the beautiful and brightly colored creature.

My snake friend slithers to the spot where I was standing.  It smells the offering I left on the ground, and then it lifts its black and gold head in my direction.

“You are a powerful healer,” it says to me matter of factly.

Snake slithers in a circle, just as I had turned to face all four directions.  Still in the place where I was standing, he comes round full circle and gazes back at me, lifting his head up from the ground.

Then he slides up the side of my tree friend.  He seems to know where to go as he moves into the crack where many have placed prayers and offerings.  Slipping inside, he disappears.

I stand in awe.  He is beautiful.  He is powerful.  He commands attention.  I find deep respect inside my soul and stand frozen no longer in fear, but something greater overcomes me.

I know snake was doing his job.  My dog passed over and now she is happy and free.  I forgive snake completely.  Peace washes over me.

Tomorrow when I wake up and go outside to say my prayers, I will look for snake.  He has a lot to teach me about his power.  I will no longer be intimidated.  Now I appreciate his beauty and I respect his powerful presence.

Question is, will I have the courage to hug my tree friend?  Will I stand afraid to wrap my arms around the wise one, now that I know what lives inside?

Now that I have seen snake up close, I think about all the times, day after day, I have been hugging the tree, not knowing.  There I sat on the ground, leaning upon my tree friend, not realizing nor fully appreciating the powerful presence that was living deep inside of him.

Will I be able to love him without reservation now that I know what lives in there?  Will I live in fear, or will I embrace my friend in love, knowing what is inside could come out and hurt me or possibly even destroy me?

I want to continue to live in love for I know this powerful presence could also help me.

As we allow what is inside to rise up, we will be able to use all of our power.  The power that lives within us can be used to destroy, or to heal.

So I will let you know how it goes…whether or not I can embrace without fear, all that lives within.

Find the power that lives inside you.

Set what is within you free.  Do not be afraid.

Do it in love.

In Love,

Cat

“If you bring forth what is within you, what you bring forth will save you. If you do not bring forth what is within you, what you do not bring forth will destroy you.” – The Gospel of Thomas, The Gnostic Gospels of Nag Hammadi

P.S.  It turned out to be a coral snake, a very beautiful and very powerful ven

Give thanks.  Give thanks for whatever you have and for whomever you are with this special day.  Make this day a sacred day by remembering the good and forgiving that which has been painful.

Let go of old grudges and come together in peace and harmony.

Like the doves and the cardinals do at my house.  They dine together each day.  And they don’t seem to mind their differences.

And on Thanksgiving we will be joined by a multitude of turkeys.  So we will be dining with turkeys this Thanksgiving.  Not on turkeys, with turkeys.

The turkeys have come to my house.  I guess they heard it’s a safe place.

A couple weeks ago when my daughters and I were running to town for some groceries, we noticed a ‘Turkey Hunt’ sign.

I forget I live in Florida sometimes, until I look up and notice the palm trees.  I never expected to find this kind of living in Florida.  Rattlesnakes, wild turkeys, and this isn’t the everglades.  Horse ranches and sportsmen abound.  We live in rural Florida.   We live next to a National Forest.  There is a bear crossing sign between Orlando and my house.  We have very few tourists, not a condo in site, but we do have an abundance of wild animals and the turkeys seem to be multiplying.

When I saw the sign for a turkey hunt, I said out loud to my daughters, “We better let the turkeys know they can hide out at our place.”

There is great power in the spoken word.  What we say is more powerful than what we think.  I said it out loud.  And they came.

Each day I have seen the numbers increase.  Last time I looked  there must have been a hundred or more.  There were too many to count.

Before I invited them we would get a dozen coming through the yard now and then.  Since word got out they are multiplying here at my place.

So on Thanksgiving I will be putting out a spread of birdseed on my lawn.  Same as I do every day, just a lot more to celebrate the turkeys coming.  I just went to town to stock up for the holiday.  While everyone else was filling their carts with cans of pumpkin and Cool Whip, I was dropping in bags of birdseed.

We will dine with the turkeys, the squirrels, the cardinals and the doves.  This is family to me.  We live peacefully together.

Well, except for the snakes…I’m going to make them sit at their own table over in the corner.

Whomever you are breaking bread with this Thanksgiving, I hope you have peace.  Whether you are dining with turkeys, squirrels or snakes, remember to focus on what is good in each of them.

Whether you are feeding turkeys or eating turkey, give thanks for what is at your table.

And if you have to put the snakes over at their own table…I can understand.

May we all celebrate what is good together.  May we find peace; Pagan, Christian, Jew, Muslim, may we all come together and break bread and give thanks.  We are all related.  We are all in this together.

Even the snakes…

And may God and Goddess Bless You and Yours.

Happy Thanksgiving.

Love,

Cat

She came to me and told me something was wrong.  It wasn’t until later that I realized it was snake that did this.

When I realized something was wrong, peace washed over me.  Spirit said, just be with her, do not panic, everything will be all right.

I believe in miracles, and so I believed everything would be all right, in the way I wanted.  I worked very hard to keep her here.  I kept hearing the sky people, my guides and angels around me telling me that everything was fine.  To me that meant she was going to stay, in the form I loved, in her dog body.

They told me a miracle healing was happening.  I stayed with her, kept my hands on her and kept praying.  They told me not to go to the vet, just to be present with her.

I wanted to hear her tail thump against the floor as I lay with her in the night.   I wanted to believe she would be wagging her tail for me again by morning.  My children helped, our cat helped, there was a powerful presence around us and we all prayed that she would stay.

But I knew.  I knew…

Three days prior to her death I had a dream.  I had a dream similar to the dream experience I share in “Mystic Mommy” regarding my miscarriage.  In “Mystic Mommy” I relate about the time I was pregnant in my waking reality and in that dreamtime a hand reached down and took my baby saying, “This isn’t the way…” and “You’ll get her back.”  In the morning I knew I had lost the baby inside me, yet I clung to the words, “You’ll get her back…” I was eventually led to adopt my daughter.  She chose to come to us a different way.

This time in my dream the hand came down, and my ‘baby’ was in a basket.  It was indeed my dog, Baby, but she had an otherworldly half human/ half star person appearance.  And just like the other dream there was a large hand reaching down from above me…

And then that darn hand took my Baby.

In the morning I wanted to dismiss the dream.  There was no way I was going to let go of my dream dog.  She was the best dog I have ever had.  The best friend a woman could hope for.

She was an older dog we adopted last spring from the pound shortly after settling in to our home.  I woke up one morning last spring, I had not been thinking about dogs, but I just jumped out of bed and knew I needed to go get my dog.  We went to the pound and she was waiting for me.  She was an older dog, overweight and depressed on her last days at the pound.

We bonded immediately.   I feel she was a dog I had some years ago, who was also a dream dog and one of my best friends ever. We had been together before and so we seemed to pick up where we left off.

So Baby came to me and we were close.  Really close.  She was the kind of dog that followed me everywhere, always lying close beside me.   She never begged for anything.  She would wait for me to finish what I was doing and then with just a look I knew what she wanted.  If she needed to go outside or if she was hungry, it was a look and then the thought of what she wanted came into my mind.

She didn’t act like a dog because she never got into the garbage, she never ran away. There was no excess drool, no foul odors, no eating off plates.  Never did she jump up on anyone nor did she jump onto the furniture.  She waited to be invited.  There was no barking except a few low digs for my protection when locals teens wanted to cut through the yard.  Even with dog treats, as I held them out to her she would hesitate and look at me.  I told her it was all right, that she could have it, then gently she would remove it from my hand.

She didn’t need a leash or a fence.  She roamed the property freely and always came back to me when I needed to see her, or when I wanted to go to bed, or even if I was going on a call, she would come.  She didn’t answer to my verbal commands, she answered my heart.  I would think of her and tell her how much I loved her and she would come running.  Our hearts were connected and I would pull her to me with those heart strings.

After she was gone I tried not to be angry.  I was, but I also did my best to thank Spirit for the amazing time I was given with this amazing angel.  With gratitude welling up through my grief I went over and over her amazing qualities, and how perfect she was for a dog.  Spirit replied to me that she did not come to teach me how to be with a dog, she didn’t come to teach me responsibility or how to care for an animal.

She came to teach me about the healing power of love.

After arriving here to this magical property I felt more than a bit weary.  I suppose burn out would be the appropriate term to use.  My engine was burned out, I felt I needed to rest and believed I deserved to rest.  After a few months of rest I was even more convinced my fire was dying out completely.  I no longer wanted to teach.  I no longer wanted to travel.  I no longer cared if I ever spoke to another group again.

And so Baby and I came together at a time when I simply wanted to sit.

She came with her own wounds.  She came with all the traits of an abused dog.  She was extremely sensitive to loud noises, upset voices, or even an unpleasant look on my face would send her hiding behind a chair or table.  I considered my own sensitivities and gave her what I craved.  I was patient and kind and gave her the best love that I could.  Everyone in the house learned to not slam doors, to walk softly and to use calm voices around Baby.  And I began to smile more.  She responded.  Then we all learned to use soft voices and loving ways all the time.  Soon we all learned that always being mindful, sensitive and loving was a wonderful way to live each day, and we healed.

Love was what she craved and what she wanted me to give to her.  Only love.

Baby and I loved each other and spent the summer healing.   I stayed in one place.  I stayed close to home.  With Baby here to help me I released old hurts and wounds and learned to open my heart to love more than ever before.

Her love grew each day.  It felt like her love had been bottled up for a long time.  I was the blessed recipient of an enormous amount of love she had been waiting to share.  All I had to do was walk into the room, and her tail would pound on the floor, “Thump!  Thump! Thump!”  The beat of her tail – like a drum – like a heartbeat, it made me smile.  To me that was the sound of love.  She was always happy to see me, and simply my presence made that tail go thump.

Sitting here on my porch, reaching out often to stroke her head, I felt happiness, joy and love rising up within me more and more each day.

By the end of the summer I no longer felt any need to run around the country healing, teaching speaking.  I no longer felt weary, but it seemed that none of those things mattered to me in the same way anymore.  I was at peace.  I had found my place and I was happy to just be.

So the question we always ask is ‘Why?’  She brought me so much joy and love; I had not felt so much happiness on a daily basis in a long time.  Why did Spirit take this beautiful gift away?

Why?  Why now?  After we adopted her and put her on organic dog food and gave her lots of love, she seemed to shed not only excess weight but several years.  She looked and acted like a young dog.  She was happily bounding through the yard the day before she died.  I thought perhaps we would sit contentedly on my porch for years.  So why?

I know the dream came to me to help me understand.   As with my daughter Grace, there was a plan and a reason that soul came through someone else in India.  There was a reason for the miscarriage, which sent me searching for my daughter everywhere, even the other side of the world.

A week before Baby passed Spirit told me to go for a walk, that there was something for me to see.  Baby doesn’t like to leave the property.  Neither do I.  For the last eight months, I have enjoyed staying home.  I truly am a hermit at heart.   But once in a while I try to coax her out the gate to go on a walk with me.

Last week I had to tug on the leash to get her to go with me.  We were less than a hundred feet down the country road when she begged me to bring her back home.  I did as she asked, then went on the walk alone.

At the point where I turn around to come back home the sign that Spirit wanted me to see was there in the middle of the road.  It was a very large dead snake.  I moved the snake to the side of the road and blessed it and thanked it for all the healing that has happened in and through me the past six months.  The amount of healing that has come in and through me since Baby arrived has been phenomenal.  I feel the greatest work I have ever done happened right here on my porch this summer with Baby by my side.

The greatest work I have ever done was so simple, and so profound.

She helped me to sit still, to allow old pains to rise up, and she loved me.  Every day we hugged each other and enjoyed the peace of the country together.  Every day this summer I shed tears and she reached out and licked my hand.

Seeing the dead snake felt reassuring to me that whatever needed to go, to be shed, to die away was finished.

I never dreamed that my Baby would be making that journey as well.  That is, I never dreamed it, until I had the dream.  Spirit showed me in the dreamtime, and then it came to pass, with the bite of the snake.

The day after she passed my guiding voice told me to go to my daughter’s room to look for a book.  There was something I needed to read, to help me understand, Spirit told me.

The book that jumped out at me was “The Little Prince” by  Antoine De Saint Exupery.  It is the story about a man who is stranded in the Sahara Desert.  His plane has crashed and while he works to fix the engine, a small prince shows up quite mysteriously.  This Little Prince is from a planet far, far away.

The Little Prince touches the man’s life in many magical ways.  After many wonderful lessons, it is time for the Little Prince to go home.  The Little Prince looks for a special golden snake which the Little Prince knows will help him get back home.  He tells the man not to watch, because as he says, “I shall look as if I were suffering.  I shall look a little as if I were dying. “

The man insists that he wants to be there, when the Little Prince goes home, that he wants to help him.

The Little Prince continues to argue with the man, not to watch, saying, “You will suffer.  I shall look as if I were dead; and that will not be true…”

And finally he says to the man, “It is too far.  I cannot carry this body with me.  It is too heavy.” And then the snake comes and there is a flash of light, and it is done.  The Little Prince returns to the stars.  And magically the man finds that his engine has been fixed, his plane has been restored and he can fly out of the desert to his own freedom once again.

I put the book down and felt Baby’s love wash over me.  Then I looked over at the top of my nightstand, where I had placed the information sheet from the humane shelter.   As I looked at that sheet, I was drawn to a small detail I had forgotten.  The name they had given her at the pound was not Baby.  That was the name I gave to her after she came home.  The name she was known by, before she came to me was ‘Princess.’

I am honored to know my Baby was a Little Princess from a star far, far away.  She came to me in my own desert.   My Baby allowed snake to release her spirit and miraculously a healing has occurred.

With the healing power of Snake, the unconditional love of Dog, and the courage of Cat I will be back; teaching, healing but most of all – loving.

They told me a miraculous healing was going to take place.  I prayed and prayed, and wanted her to stay, but in the end I know the healing happened.  What I wanted was for my dog to remain with me.

But what has remained is a miracle.  She has passed, but the gifts she brought, the gifts she gave me and the gifts within me that she helped me to find, are still here.

For even today in my sorrow, I feel peace.  Even in between tears I feel joy.  But most miraculous of all is that even in the darkest places, in anger and fear, I feel love.

Baby is still by my side, asking me to go outside the gate now.  She says it will soon be time to leave the safe place we created, our sanctuary, but this time she assures me she will stay by my side for the entire journey.

I’m not ready yet, but I am preparing mentally and emotionally for the next thing.  Spirit is telling me to get out the suitcase, to pack lightly, for all I need is with me already.

The dog, the snake and the cat travel with me.  The powers they bring are great.

But the greatest power of all, we all know it…the greatest of these is love.

Thump!  Thump!  Thump!

I wondered why it felt good.  Just pacing.  I was listening to my usual road trip music.  There is this favorite CD of mine I reserve for the road.  It’s good old rock and roll oldies that makes me want to turn it up and put the pedal down at the same time.

Since I’m not going anywhere anytime soon, I thought I would listen to it while I worked out.  The energy was building inside me, the anticipation and excitement of the open road.  The between times have become some of my favorite times.  When you are between point a and point b, and there is nothing to do but travel it’s incredibly freeing for the soul.

When there is absolutely nothing but time and road before you, all that energy gets dissipated in the freedom.

But now it was different.  The energy was palpable.  And I didn’t know what to do with it.  So I was pacing, back and forth like a caged lion.  I felt passion and excitement inside me, and I wanted to unleash it.  And feeling that way, seeing myself pacing, took me back to another time, when I knew a lion pacing in a cage.

When I was a little girl I could hear  lions roaring at night from my bedroom.  There was a ‘zoo’ near our house, at Bever Park just a couple blocks away.  It was one of those zoos that housed animals in incredibly small quarters with no natural habitat what so ever.

The bears had a cement enclosure with one dead tree surrounded by nothing.  The African Lions, so noble and beautiful, looked sadly neglected in their small cages.  The lions had a grassy area, within the small barred walls.  And at night I listened to them, their roaring sound seemed only a heartbeat away from me, and I wondered if they dreamed of freedom.  Sometimes I wondered if they would find a way to get out of their cages.

As I lay in my bed at night as a girl, I wondered if those lions I heard roaring in the night, would one day find a way to be free.

When I was grown and visiting family back in my hometown, I went out for a walk and found myself once again in Bever Park, once again facing a lion in a cage.

Most of the zoo closed over the years.  The African lions were gone as were the bears.  But a few sad looking animals still remained.  The monkeys, and one other still remained in a cage – the mountain lion.

The monkeys were in a glassed in case.  It was astounding that in the 1990′s the people  of Cedar Rapids were still supporting such horrendous zoo exhibits.

And the mountain lion was still behind bars, pacing back and forth along a worn out patch of ground.

I sat down in front of her cage and cried.  I sat and did my best to connect with her.  I listened within for her voice, but it was silent.

As I watched her pace I felt myself feeling equally frustrated in my own life.  At that point I was still struggling to accept my path and my purpose.  I was still living a life that others expected of me.  I was dutiful to my family, and denied my own desires and callings.

I shivered in the cold, fall Iowa air and imagined this mountain lion free.  I visualized the cage gone, the monkeys gone, and the park setting expanding to heal the area where the cages once stood.

In my imagination I sent this mountain lion a picture of running free in the Western United States.  I sent her images of being free to live her life the way she desired.  I was not sure she was receiving the images, as she felt closed off, yet I continued to visualize for myself.

I knew this mountain lion would never run free.  I knew even if the city would finally let go of the last sad remains of the zoo, that she would be sent to yet another enclosed environment for the rest of her days.

The wild cat in her would never run free.

Suddenly I was filled with an exciting idea.  I had been contemplated taking my true name, of letting go of the name I was given by my father and my  husband.  I was not yet comfortable with ‘Cat RunningElk’ and was still arguing with Spirit about actually using it everyday.  I knew I needed to let go of the old, but I was reluctant to accept what Spirit was telling me was my path.

I felt uncomfortable with the freedom of being me, and wondered if I, too, would spend the rest of my life always adapting to the confines of other people’s expectations and desires for me and my life.

In that moment as I visualized freedom for both of us, the mountain lion and myself, I told her I would take her name as my own, to give her freedom through me.  I would live always remembering her in the cage, and I vowed to never forget and to honor her in this way.

When I stood to walk back to my parents house, I was filled with excitement.  I had found a name I could use for I was sure it would be acceptable.  And I was going to barter with Spirit.  I would take a mountain lion name, without having to accept the Cat RunningElk name my guides kept insisting on.  I thought I had found a way out of what would one day actually be the key to my own freedom.

Avoiding the truth does not set us free.  Avoiding what we fear most does not set us free.  Playing it small, resisting our truth, only imprisons us even more.

Surrendering to our destiny is the only way to be free.

But I was still living in my own mental prison of fearing what others would think.  I called the zoo board a few days later from our home in Seattle, where we were living at that time.  I asked for the name of the mountain lion.

I waited with great anticipation.

The lady on the other end of the phone said, “Midget.”

“What?” I asked.

“Midget,” she repeated, “The Mountain Lion is named ‘Midget.’”

Oh my, I thought hanging up.  My guides laughed at me.  I enjoyed their humor eventually.  In that moment I felt obstinate.  I tried on the name, “Midget.”

I tried it on for about five minutes…

Then I got the joke.  In trying to be small, I was torturing myself.  My true essence cannot be confined behind any name.  We are not meant to play it safe and we are not meant to live our lives in cages.

Years later, after I accepted my name, my callings and my larger persona, I was once again visiting friends and family in Iowa.  I went for a walk one evening, and decided to venture by the zoo, just to check and see if any miracles had happened here, to match my own freedom.

I found green grass, picnic tables and no sign of any bears, monkeys or lions.  They were gone.  The zoo was gone.  The cages completely vanished.

I pictured my mountain lion friend, Midget, running somewhere, free.

It was a great relief not to see ‘Midget’ again in a cage.  Yet I still remember her and have to laugh now at how Spirit can work in our lives.  I was trying to avoid being who I am.  I was always looking for a way around being my true self.

I am now free to be who I really am.  And I certainly am free to hit the road if I truly desire.

After I paced in my workout room for a while, I came inside and began writing.  I have done about 8 hours of writing since my pacing began.

Seems I have found another way to be free.  Expressing who I am, through my stories, sets me free.

In being me, I am free.  The key is in being true to yourself, not to anyone else.  In following our heart, having the courage to be who we are, we are free.  I am Cat RunningElk, and it feels good being me.  Even pacing, I like being me.

So Spirit is showing me another way to use the energy that built to a crescendo this evening.  I don’t have to just go and go and go.  And yet, I still plan to enjoy the open road now and again.  With my oldies, and my wild cat energy that loves to run free, I will go again – out west somewhere, someday…

Peace,

Cat RunningElk

It is 2011.  This is the time of miracles.  This is time for allowing ourselves to be fully present in our power.  This is the time to embrace one another as one.

I will continue to offer my services on a donation basis to those in crisis.  No one will ever be turned away because of lack.  I believe we must all give what we have in abundance.  I am willing to share my gifts, knowing that Spirit is providing for me.

There have been some sticky times the last six months since I went to all love offering based services.  I have learned so much about trust and allowing miracles to happen.

Times when I was in doubt, Spirit would whisper in my ear, “Your donations allow miracles to happen.”  And indeed, many miracles have shown up.

These miracles were not just for me, because I was willing to trust;  I also heard people saying having me available without fees was a miracle for them.

But most importantly I learned that people needed to understand when they give from their heart, when they do not have to pay, but have the opportunity to give freely, Spirit knows, and blesses them in return.  I found out I needed to teach people what a love offering is, and how much is the right amount.

One day I did a very powerful session with someone I have worked with for several years.  I have watched this woman create her own business, buy her own home, fall in love with a good man, and so many more wonderful blessings.  I enjoy working with her and know she is doing her best to eliminate fear about lack.  As a self-employed woman myself, I understand her fears and the up and downs of prosperity.

At the end of our session she got out her checkbook and asked, “Will fifty dollars be okay, Cat?”

She already knew I was open to any amount.  I always ask that people give what they can, in order to allow me to continue doing this for everyone.  As I knew that this woman was dealing with her own financial issues, I had no problem with the amount.

She offered, “I’d like to give you more, it’s certainly worth it.”

So I asked, “How much is it worth to you?”

And she didn’t even think when she replied, “One hundred.  I would like to give you one hundred dollars.”

“Thank you.”  I said, “I appreciate knowing it’s worth that much to you.  And of course I don’t mind receiving fifty.  It’s good to know you think it’s worth more and would give more if you could.”

Then she lit up and said excitedly, “I’m going to give you a hundred!  That’s what I want to do.  And I will trust it is all okay.”

We talked a bit more before she left, and I could tell she was relieved giving me the amount she really wanted to pay me.  And I could tell her uplifted feeling was going to help her immensely going forward trusting her business would continue to grow and to thrive.

When we hold back our gifts, our money, our love, from a place of fear, we block the  flow.  We cannot receive when we are afraid to give.  So I have found that part of my job is helping people understand this principle.  They are not just prospering me, they are ultimately allowing themselves to open up to the flow of prosperity.

I am not here to create more financial hardships.  I am here to help everyone understand it starts with giving.  If you need more, then you have to give more.  This shows trust and faith and it gets the flow going.   Whatever you want more of – love, money, attention, affection – then give some of that to someone.

Those who want to prosper financially need to give.  The basics of tithing state you give ten percent off the top of everything that comes to you.  This is the way to show Spirit that you are willing to give back in gratitude, for receiving.  Most spiritual belief systems have a similar teaching.  The Give Away Ceremony is the same idea.  You give something precious to another.  You give and you give from your heart.

And this is how miracles happen.

This fall I was invited to a friends birthday party.  I wanted to give a special gift, and as I prepared to get dressed, and pick my jewelry, I looked at the pendant I was going to wear.  It dawned on me how this tree pendant with green amber stones reminded me of my friend.  I wanted to give it to her.

As I was wrapping it my youngest daughter, Amber, looked at me and said, “But, Mommy, you love that necklace!”

And I replied, “Exactly.   That’s why I must give it to my friend.”

Three days later another friend gifted me with a sapphire bracelet.  I was stunned.  As I looked at the bracelet, Spirit nudged me and reminded me of the gift I gave only days before.  We are blessed in direct relation to how we give to others.  The bracelet, my friend told me, was something Spirit nudged her to give to me.

I have worked with more people in the last six months than any other time.  It has been a blessing for me and hopefully for those I have met.  In addition to my travels last winter across the Midwest, this summer out West, I was also blessed with the opportunity to spend time serving on the Rosebud Reservation in South Dakota this fall.

I had a special session with an elder Lakota woman with great healing abilities.  But she did not realize she had them.  As I stood reconnecting her with her ancestors, I wondered momentarily, “Who am I to be telling her what her ancestors say, to be telling her how to heal?  I am nothing and no one…” and then the Spirits hushed my thoughts and told me to continue helping her awaken to her gifts.

I was there at the reservation to serve. I was honored to help her, to listen and to translate from Spirit how to heal.  And I did not expect or want anything in return.   I already knew this woman shared a small apartment with three generations, and that getting by was created by miracles.   There was no talk of money.

But she understood how important it was to give to me, as she understood she is giving back to Spirit.  Spirit knows.  God knows, what we give and where.  Our lives are our prayers.  Where we put our energy, and especially the energy of money, tells the Universe what we honor and worship.  Where we focus, where we choose to give back, says this is what is important to us.

There was an envelope on the counter for this woman, left by the owner of the healing center where I was working.   The owner of the healing center had left a donation for this woman to help with food for her family.

As she received the envelope, she looked at me, and came and put the envelope in my hands.  She did not hesitate to give it to me.  She did not even open it, to look inside.  She did not consider giving me only part of the money.

I knew to accept the gift.  There was already a strong presence in the room with us, and I knew this was an important part of  our healing together.  She was honoring me, and she was thanking all the Spirits who showed up to work with us that day.  It was a special moment knowing she was giving a tremendous amount to me, although to many others I work with it would not be so much monetarily.  But to her, it was everything.  And I knew that she would be blessed for giving.

How can we learn to trust like that?  How can we learn to give where it is needed, to places and people who truly could use a helping hand?  We look inside and ask ourselves what is most important now?  Where do we want to put our attention, our time, our money?

As we go forward wanting to create a better world, a more balanced and harmonious world, we all need to remember the principles of tithing.  There is enough to go around if we open up the flow.  Give from your heart.  That means you should feel it.  If it doesn’t have an impact on you, it won’t have an impact on others.

On my website on the home page there is now a donate button to give to my friends on Pine Ridge and Rosebud Reservations.  Everything you give through that donate button will go to help pay for utilities, groceries and other necessities.  This is one way I can help your prosperity flow more freely in 2011, by giving you more opportunities to make a difference.

As for me, I have put rates back up, to help people know what would be a standard fee.  However I will work with anyone regardless of what they can pay.  I only ask that everyone give something – give so that it prospers us both.

And remember, as you give, so shall you receive.  For this is how miracles will  happen.

Prosperous Blessings to You and Yours in 2011.

Cat RunningElk

P.S.  To read more about the idea of tithing and how we can heal the world if we all give 10% – I suggest Marc Allen’s book “The Ten Percent Solution.”

I was on the phone with a friend of mine last May, about to bring up the fact that the dolphins had been coming to me in my dreams, and that I felt they were asking me to come help with the healing of the waters.

But before I could share my thoughts out loud with my friend, a loud, high-pitched screeching sound with warbly water sounds behind it interrupted our call. We were unable to communicate until the sound ceased. I recognized the sound immediately, but paused to see if my friend had heard it, too.

My friend spoke first, answering my question of “Did I hear what I think I heard?” by saying, “Cat, the dolphin are calling you!”

Thus began my journey to leave Montana and to return to Florida. I wanted to help. I was preparing to do whatever Spirit asked of me. As I connected with volunteer organizers in Florida I began to study for certification in cleaning hazardous waste, or HAZMAT training. This training, the organizers said, would allow me to go into the oil stricken areas to help clean.

But Spirit began to play with me and my over eagerness to get to the Gulf. Spirit began to show me in many ways, that I was to focus on healing the waters…the waters along the way. And thus began my three month long tour, to heal the waters along the way. It was about the journey, and I was being asked to make my journey a long one.

As my dates for speaking engagements kept getting moved out, and extensions grew on the time I was to spend with certain individuals, I surrendered to that journey.

Isn’t it always about the journey? My heart was longing to reconnect with the Gulf Waters, as they have always been a special place for me, but along the way I realized the work I need to do is everywhere. And Spirit helped me to understand that the waters that I was being asked to help heal, were the waters within you and I.

I’m not so good at cleaning up spaces, or places. While my mind was willing to clean oily birds, my heart knows my place in the grand scheme of things. I know what I am good at, and I know what I am not so good at…

I never found time to get my hazardous waste certification. But I did find time to be with many very special people in Tacoma, Seattle, Montana, Wyoming, South Dakota, Denver, Durango and Santa Fe. I took my time and that was a gift. During my extended travels there was time to sit together with many of you. I was touched in being able to cry together with some of you and with many there was healing – together. Oh, and we even had time to laugh together.

And there were special times I found myself in waters, from the beach at Point No Point in Hansville, Washington, where I prayed and meditated and listened to the wisdom and advice of Chief Sealth. In Durango, Colorado I was able to spend an afternoon floating down the river with my friend, Diane Purdy. And in Galveston, Texas on the full moon last week I finally put my feet into the Gulf of Mexico.

After months of feeling grief over the oil spilling into these waters, it was so good to be there and to finally connect my physical body, with the waters that have brought me great joy and peace since I was young. I stayed there at the shore in Galveston, Texas, in the company of some very special spirits who traveled with me and helped me make it to the water that night. I shed some more tears, letting them fall into the sea, out of sheer joy of finally being there and out of deep sorrow for the work that is yet to be finished.

There at Galveston I stayed until the sun rose in the eastern sky, casting a beautiful glow over the water. The waters of the Gulf looked as beautiful as ever. On the surface Our Mother looked beautiful, shiny and clean. Her waters were shining and glistening in the morning light.

Of course we know that under the surface a tremendous amount of healing is needed. And within each of us we must remember to heal the very deepest parts of ourselves. We must strive everyday to heal our own emotional, mental, spiritual and physical body.

It isn’t over. It has only begun. The healing we need within us we can see all around us. It may seem endless and overwhelming, but I invite you to begin your own healing journey. Even if you think you already took care of your own emotional baggage way back there somewhere, please make sure you didn’t dump it into the water. Let’s clean up our waters. We must clean up our waters.

As for me, after Galveston, I asked Spirit about going home. And I was told it’s a long, long journey, and I better keep going…this tour is going on…

As Always Emotionally Yours,
Cat

There he was. He was on the path. And he met me there.

I was just walking into the woods, anxious to lose myself. It’s the best thing to do for myself. Lose myself, and then find myself again.

As I was heading into the woods, turtle was in the middle of the path, looking up at me, heading my way in his slow and deliberate manner.

What a delight! In my exuberance to meet a friend, I sat down in front of him and exclaimed my gratitude to meet him face to face. This was a living turtle complete with shell and old wrinkly face.

My energy was large and excited and I sent him quickly into his shell.

Just as quickly I realized my error and quieted down. In a soft, soothing voice I called to him. I introduced myself to him. I regaled him with stories of why I was so happy to make his acquaintance.

I pulled my turtle pendant out from behind my shirt.  It hung on a beaded necklace and was a gift newly acquired from a special friend.  Like a child I held up my new turtle necklace. I wanted to show my turtle friend what we had in common.

Slowly his shell began to open and like a garage door slowly lifting, his face began to appear out from the shadows of his insular home.

I showed turtle my turtle.

He stretched his long neck and his head seemed to be reaching up to speak directly to me, and to look at my turtle.

As expected, his wisdom that he began to share with me reiterated some of my own thoughts.  In a calm and relaxed manner he spoke to me.  He reminded me to accept my home is where I am in the moment.  He encouraged me to slow down and enjoy the journey.  And he let me know things would come to pass, the things that my heart longed for, but that I could not rush things…he encouraged me to be more patient…

Our conversation was abruptly shattered by the sound of whirring bicycle tires.

I stood up and looked down at my friend. He was in the middle of the path, right around a sharp corner and I feared the bicyclists would not see him in time to avoid him.

Quickly I scooped him up and placed him safely in the grasses and leaves at the side of the path. The bicycles whizzed past without noticing us.

I looked down at my heavy friend.  I was amazed by the weight he was carrying.

I sat down in the grass and looked at my closed up friend.  The sudden shift had caused him to retreat again.

I tried to use my most coaxing voice once again to lure him out. But this time I heard a voice say to me, “It is time for you to go within your own shell. When you are centered you may come back and speak with Turtle once more.”

I understood and knew I had just begun my walk into nature. I needed to go much farther in to find a place a part from others.

I was on break from touring and teaching and I had stopped by one of my favorite trails to unwind.  Back in the Kansas City area, I was spending time with my daughters mid-tour, before heading back west to finish what I had started.

It had already been a long tour, from Seattle to Denver.  A quick reprieve in Kansas City, and now I was preparing to make the drive back to Denver, then to Durango, then Santa Fe, and then back to Kansas City before my youngest daughter’s ninth birthday.

It was so good to be with my children again, I was wishing I could cancel the rest of my tour.  As I walked and asked for guidance I considered my life on the road.  Many people were offering places to stay, and wonderful food.  I was feeling loved and supported by so many people.

Yet as always, I was longing for a home.  A permanent home.  But I knew that when ever I find a place, I tend to hide myself away.  When I am on the road, I allow myself to be seen, and heard, and share the gifts that I have.

I went on down the path a ways and found my own space.  I sat and sat and sat.  When I was finished, I remembered my turtle friend and headed back to find him.

When I arrived at the place where I had set him, next to the trail, he wasn’t there.  I chuckled at how fast he had moved, and looked around nearby, then farther and farther down the trail I searched.  I could not find him.  I wondered how far he had gotten in the time I was sitting, and then I wondered how long I had been gone.

With no concern for real time, I walked on wishing I had the wisdom of turtle to speak to.  Many thoughts were streaming through me, and I was still feeling some sort of inability to accept the current reality of my life.  I knew Turtle would know what to tell me, and I wondered why spirit was denying me this good advice.

As I came around the final corner of woods and privacy, I saw up ahead the parking lot and people.  Directly in front of me on the trail was a couple that caught my attention.  They had a stroller in front of them, and they were moving at a particularly slow pace.  The man was very tall, with strong wide shoulders, and dark skin.  He was moving with a very slow and deliberate gait.

The woman by his side was petite and blonde with pale skin.  She seemed to be controlling her energy, and was taking small controlled steps.  Her energy seemed to say she could take off like a wild hare if given the chance.

His pace reminded me of the turtle.  I was intrigued by the opposite nature of these two people, together, each with a hand on the stroller in front of them.  I looked forward to peeking into the carriage to see the beautiful child that was a part of each of them.

As I approached the man turned to look at me passing.  He noticed the turtle pendant on my beaded necklace that was still hanging outside my shirt.  He looked at my turtle and then nodded to me.

“I like your turtle,” he said in a low tone.  I could tell by the way he looked at me and the tone of his voice, that he understood Turtle, and was making an open ended comment.

I slowed down by their side and thanked him.  The man stopped walking and looked at me.  He was waiting for me to say something more.

“I saw a turtle a bit ago, and was looking for him on my way back, but I haven’t found him yet…” I smiled waiting to see if that was enough to begin and looked towards the baby in the stroller.

The gentleman pulled three or four necklaces out from behind his shirt.  All of them had turtle pendants on them.  Some had many turtles hanging from one chain while others had turtles at the end of a beaded necklace similar to mine.

I stopped completely now and looked up at him.  He was a very tall man with a strong presence.

He put out his hand to meet me and introduced himself, “Painted Turtle,” he said.

“Cat RunningElk,” I said shaking his hand.

He sat down on a nearby bench and after I played with their beautiful baby for sometime, his wife whisked her off somewhere, so Painted Turtle and I could talk.  I noticed the small woman moved very quickly, she disappeared in a heartbeat.  She seemed to know Painted Turtle and I needed to talk.

He stretched his arms wide on the bench and then he carefully stretched his long legs out in front of him.  As he relaxed I knew that we would have all the time we needed to talk of turtle, and life, and other things.

I made myself comfortable on the ground in front of him.

He pulled some tobacco out of a pouch and took my hand, opened it and poured the tobacco into the center of my palm.

“When you meet a true medicine person, you always show that you recognize them and honor them with tobacco.”

“Yes, thank you.”  I said looking shyly down at the tobacco.

Then he placed some other special blend of herbs in my other hand.  I thanked him and gave him a special feather I was carrying.

“I was home when Spirit told me I had to get over here,”   he said motioning to a house down the road and I saw he had walked quite a distance.

“I was told there was someone I needed to meet.”

He kept looking around me and just beyond my physical body as he talked.

“I had to hurry, as I can’t walk very fast these days, ” he said rubbing the knee of one of his legs.

“But I knew I had to get here before whoever it was I needed to meet,” he talked slow and smooth and smiled up at me now as he continued,”When I got on the path, I felt your presence behind me, and I knew I had made it in time.”

I listened and smiled back, knowing I had found my turtle friend again.

“I could feel you when you were a long way away.  You have a strong presence,” as he spoke of me again I turned my attention back to the ground, “I knew you were looking for me, that you needed to talk.” At this I looked up to see him smiling broadly.

“You have magic with you.  It follows you everywhere you go.  You know that, don’t you?”  He waited to see my expression.

I thought of what others often said about me.  And I thought how confusing it was, how like an illusion what others seemed to see in me.

He listened to my thoughts then replied, “Yes, you have powerful magic, but you don’t see it.  It’s like the red bird that follows you.  Have you seen this bird that follows you?”  He motioned over my right shoulder.

I quickly turned my head around and saw a flash of red as the bird took off.

“Yes, just like that.  When you try to see it, it disappears.  It’s better that way.  Others see it, and you just need to know it’s there.  Don’t look for it, Cat.  When you do, it flies away.”

I had been seeing the red bird out of the corner of my eye for sometime. It was there in my morning circles, or just outside, always flying off when I turned to look in its direction.   I looked all around me now and Painted Turtle did as well.

“The magic will always be there for you.  Don’t worry, it just goes with you.  You don’t have to do anything about it, or with it.  It just shows up for you.”

I nodded.  That was how it worked.  “Just show up,” was what my guides were always telling me.  When I tried to plan a class or event, they would stop me, “Just show up, Cat.”  No notes, no thoughts, just show up.  When I would show up, the magic would happen.

“And I see you are having trouble accepting some situations in your life…your heart is hurting…I can’t even look in your eyes.  I feel the pain…”

Oh, darn.  He’s seeing that stuff.  Sometimes hanging out with other seers, psychics and sensitives makes it hard to hide your personal baggage.  He was seeing the part of me that was not happy with my present circumstances.

“Sometimes you try to use your powers to make things happen.  I see you standing in the center, with four doors around you, one for each direction.  Each of these doors is closed right now.  It’s just the way it has to be for now.”

I looked at the ground.  I didn’t want to acknowledge this part of life, the part of life that felt closed off to me.

“You take this big staff you carry; do you know the one I mean?”  He held my gaze as I was shocked by what he was seeing.

“Yes, I know the one you mean…” I looked up at him feeling a bit annoyed with how much of my personal spiritual life he was seeing.

“Well, I see you taking this staff and banging it on the ground, like a child trying to get her way.  You try to use the magic you have to make the doors open.  But instead the power you have sends out a wave that bounces off the closed doors and ends up rattling you even more.  A lot of the uncomfortable feelings you are having right now you are creating, because you are not allowing things to unfold as they need to.  You need to be still and accept how things are, then they will change and in time the doors will open…magically.”

He looked quite proud of his dissection of my stubbornness, my pride and my attempts to make things happen my way.  I knew he was right, but I acted aloof for a moment, and tried not to let him know how right he was.

I sat with it a bit and then let out a sigh of acceptance.

“You have work to do. You have to go, and this is hard for you sometimes.  In time all the doors will open…be patient.”

I looked up at my Turtle friend and thought about my patience, or lack of patience.  Then anxiously, lest he should dive deeper into my heart, I turned the table.  I allowed messages to come for him, and he opened up to me about his near death accident the previous year, about his work to heal his body, about the slow movement due to the pain.  He talked of his partner, their baby, and much more.

And she returned from out of nowhere with the little one as we finished.  She was like the magic white rabbit, popping in at the perfect moment.

Quite some time had passed, and we exchanged hugs and warm appreciation for how Spirit works, and how we always are brought to the ones we need to see at the right and perfect moment.

The next day I packed my things and said good bye to my children.  After a few tears from my little one, I was on my way.

Down the road a ways my own tears began to fall.  I didn’t feel motivated.  I didn’t feel like making a difference in anyone else’s life.  I was feeling sad that I had to drive so far to see some people.  I felt deprived of a different way of life.  I felt cheated out of a more normal existence, relationship and a regular home.

I tried to think about the magic that is with me.  I felt the presence of the red bird and knew it was just out of my sight.  I wanted to see it.  I wanted to use it, to make my life how I wanted it to be.

Then I considered all that Painted Turtle had told me.  I was trying to pound down some doors that needed to remain closed for now.

I needed to slow down.  I looked at the speedometer and I didn’t care how fast I was going.  Wanting to get the job done, and go home, I put the pedal to the medal, as if getting there sooner would make any difference.

Up ahead there was a black curtain across the horizon.  A perfectly blue sky turned dark and the temperature dropped twenty degrees in a matter of seconds.  I embraced the storm and flew into it.

The hail was large and I had to turn up the radio to hear the music.  Cars were pulling over and the truckers all had their flashers on.  My devil may care attitude kept me driving swiftly through the storm.  Still feeling impatient with Spirit giving me these callings, I challenged Spirit to guide me swiftly through the pounding rain, the hail and the gusts of wind.  I felt protected, and knew Spirit would not let me drive off the road.

I pulled out to pass a slowed down vehicle, and right in front of me in the fast lane was turtle.  Suddenly, in order to save his life, I had to slow down.  On a wet highway, with hail and lightning and trucks all around, I swerved, and managed to go around the turtle, and remained solidly on the road.

Looking in my rear view mirror I said a prayer for my friend.  I prayed in earnest that he would survive.  I prayed that he would make it safely to the other side.

I saw the turtle, and I saw the truck behind me also manage to miss hitting him.

Slowing down I passed carefully out the other side of the storm, with my spirits suddenly buoyed.

“Thank you to Turtle.  Thank you.  I am willing to let things happen as they may.  The doors will open, or they will remain closed.  It doesn’t matter.  The journey is mine, and I will enjoy it today.”

The storm ended as fast as it came.  The sun broke out and up ahead loomed the magnificent Front Range.  A rainbow appeared and I smiled.  Looking forward to what was in front of me, I felt the Rockies beckon me home.

Present in the moment, appreciative of the magic that is a part of my life, I smiled.  My heart was grateful for the turtle, all the turtles that had showed up in my life.  I was grateful for the turtle necklace, for the turtle on my path, for Painted Turtle and his wisdom and finally, the turtle on the highway.

If I could slow down and enjoy the journey, accepting home is where I am, and allow the magic to happen, it would all be all right….

I relaxed a bit more behind the wheel as the storm drifted farther and farther behind me.  Looking ahead I saw the Rockies and gave thanks that for the next few weeks, they would be my home.

I touched the turtle around my neck and smiled.

In time the doors would open.

I would trust the journey as I was learning to trust that the magic is always there, even when we can’t see it, it’s always there.

The magic of my life means the turtle makes it across the path, down the road and across the highway.  The magic seems to be unseen, until we consider the hand that lifted it from danger, the wife and stroller that helped ease his pain and the trucker that managed to avoid it.

The magic is around, and it is with us, and it will open the doors that need to be opened, if we let it.

In time, all in good time…